Wednesday, March 9, 2016
I'm a worrier. I worry about everything. I worry about things you should worry about, and I worry about things you should not. Sometimes I can talk myself back from the edge of worry, while other times I run full speed ahead and blast right over the rim and fall deep into the darkness of worry. Last night, I hung one foot over the ledge and teetered back and forth before slowly drifting into a full fledged worry session. It began with my fear that I was getting sick. That pushed me near the rim. Next, I checked my work email, which I know better than to do before bed, and discovered I would need to address a stressful situation. That made the edge crumble and my foot dangle. Finally, I received some texts and calls from someone I worry about. That was the catapult that sent me sailing through the safety zone and directly into the dismal abyss that is worry. I couldn't sleep. I awoke several times. I continuously checked my phone for messages and my throat for soreness. I played out the impending stressful situation several times in my head, carefully considering every possible outcome. It was a difficult night, which made for a challenging morning. I wasn't sick today (It didn't come!), handled the stressful situation professionally, and I spoke with the person I worry about this evening. Despite all of the energy I spent worrying about these problems, everything is ok today. How I wish I wasn't a worrier. Worry causes unnecessary stress which can affect my immediate and long term health. It's something I worry about.