You confirm or deny my suspicions.
You digitally determine my degrees.
Your accuracy is as sharp as a Ginsu knife.
Thermometer, oh amazing thermometer,
You bring me comfort like a blanket on a cold day.
You fuel my panic like a tornado warning.
The speed of your beeps can send me over the edge like a bungee jumper
Or pull me back like a specialized mountain rescue team.
How I love you, and my hypochondria wouldn't have an anchor without you.
You appraise my illness and determine my eligibility for a sick day.
You declare the official end of my contagious period.
Thermometer, oh thermometer,
I love thee.